What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

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What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?

Daeshcams

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

What does a ghost pick out of his nose?

Boo-gers

What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.

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Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

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What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible