What do my toaster and I have in common?

We both like to be in the same bathtub at the same time.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

What kind of music do you like?

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan"

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?

Time to get a new car.

Who are the fastest readers of all time?

9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 15 seconds

Bathtub Jokes More Bathtub Jokes

What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub?

Laundry.

What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?

The lady in church has hope in her soul.

Toaster Jokes More Toaster Jokes

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE"

What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster?

You pop up all night.