What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common?

They both made the news for not being straight.

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Why did John Snow get an iPhone?

For the watch.

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce

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Where does a redditor get most of his news from?

The Hydraulic Press

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

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How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?

16, 32, 64, and 128

What's Tim Cook's new nickname?

Jack The Ripper