What do you call a bottle of seltzer that lost all its bubbles?

Water...

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Where do lions go if they lose their tails ?

To the re-tail store. :D

Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

because Sam sung better than him

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What happens when you drop a decimal point in water ?

it floats.

Why do honest ducks dip their heads under the water?

To liquidate their bills.

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What's worse than finding Astroglide on your Mom's shopping list?

Finding an empty bottle in the trash.

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

Bubble Jokes More Bubble Jokes

What do you call some soapy water on the floor?

Now you're just some bubbles that I used to blow.

Why aren't you smiling?

my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."