What do you call a man who's on fire?

Bernie.

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What did the man with Verizon say to the woman with Sprint?

You better Sprint on over to the Verizon store.

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.

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Why did the blonde girl get fired from the M&M factory?

She kept throwing away all the W's.

What joke is the darkest?

Fire away please! I want to hear it all!

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How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

How is Bernie going to pay for free college for everyone?

No problem! He'll just make Mexico pay for it!