Bernie Jokes

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

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How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

Whats the most stupid thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?

Vote for Bernie in a primary.

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke

How is Bernie going to pay for free college for everyone?

No problem! He'll just make Mexico pay for it!

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire?

Bernie.

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie sanders

Who's there ! Bernie ! Bernie who ?

Bernie bridges !

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Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

Which states is Bernie most popular in?

Denmark, Sweden and Norway.

What do you call a man who's on fire?

Bernie.

What does socialism smell like?

It has a Bernie smell.

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

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Why do whales have really good immune systems?

They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!

Why is a doctor always calm?

He got a lot of patients

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Which president likes doing laundry?

George WASHING-A-TON. He's the 8 year old white Kevin Hart.

Who is the president of the trees?

BarkOak Palma

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What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!

What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders?

I'll take your money!

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What's grosser than gross?

When a midget walks past and says your hair smells nice!

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

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What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch?

Bernie Sanders exists.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Where do stoners keep their money?

In a joint account

Who's there ! Cannelloni ! Cannelloni who ?

Cannelloni some money till next week

Youth Jokes More Youth Jokes

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

What's the best way to ensure that Asia's senior citizens' pension programs are financially sound?

Sufficient amount of youth in Asia.

Speech Jokes More Speech Jokes

Why was the schwa bad at giving speeches?

He said "uhh" way too much.

Why is Reddit the best place for freedom of speech?

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