What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living?

You call 'im Maury. :)

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Why is Santa such a jolly old elf?

He knows where the naughty girls live.

What do you do for a living?

The engineer replies " I make chips" "Oh yummy!"

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How can I trust you again?

H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

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What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living?

You call 'im Maury. :)

How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?

zero, because none of them knows how to