What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five?

You leave him hanging....

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What drink did the Karate Master order?

Wa-tah! Haha. I'll leave now... (Sorry if already posted. I searched a little bit but found nothing.)

What does weed and your girlfriend have in common?

They both leave me sticky fingers. 7

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What did one earring say to the other?

What did one earring say to the other? You go on a head, i'll just hang round 'ere

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"

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Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past Red Lobster?

Hi, Ladies!

How high are you! ?

demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.