What does a Necrophiliac get at funerals?

Mourning Wood

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How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

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How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac?

He's always HARD at work.

What's the difference between an alcoholic and a necrophiliac?

One goes to the bar for a cold one. The other goes to a morgue.

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What does a Necrophiliac get at funerals?

Mourning Wood

What does a Necrophiliac have when he is turned on?

Mourning Wood