What's the difference between an alcoholic and a necrophiliac?

One goes to the bar for a cold one. The other goes to a morgue.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between most complex life forms, and the internet?

Most complex life forms are a tube within a tube, and the internet is more like a series of tubes.

How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did Bea Arthur whisper in her lover's ear?

An elaborate fantasy in which she is in prison and tries to escape by chewing through the bars of her cell.

What did the scientist say at the bar?

I'd like some H20 please.

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What do you call a peanut with a cold?

Cashew! she was so proud of herself for making me laugh with this one.

Who is the best Native American to have around when you have a cold?

The Hanky chief (Yes this is all my own work, I thank you) No I am not a dad

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do you call a man who's always in high spirits?

An alcoholic.

What's the difference between an alcoholic and a necrophiliac?

One goes to the bar for a cold one. The other goes to a morgue.

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

What do Elsa and a necrophiliac have in common?

The cold never bothered them anyway......

Who doesn't like a hot date?

A necrophiliac.

Morgue Jokes More Morgue Jokes

What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet?

Remains to be seen.

What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.