What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a race car and a woman?

One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels.

What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

Why were there so many Hawaiian lei's at the funeral?

the obituary read "Please send donations in luau flowers."

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What's the best moment of your life?

me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?

On a bun-eymoon!