What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

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What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs?

The hypotenuse.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

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How did the terrorist get into Czechoslovakia?

They didn't czech his papers.

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

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What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!

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What do Badgers and Gynecologists have in common?

they both like to root around in your cellar

What do root vegetables do at tha club?

Turnip