What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?

He liked to chop and change !

What's it made of?

An engineering major says "How is it made " An arts major says... "Would you like fries with that "

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why do neckbeard dentists love Cats the musical?

Because m'cavity.

What's long and stylish and full of cats?

The Easter Purrade!

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?

Colonel, sir.

What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud?

A herd of stampeding aardvarks!

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What is the favorite scientific unit of the French?

RPM ( Revolutions Per Minute )

What did the egg say to the hot water?

Give me a minute to get hard, i just got laid by some chick.

Sneeze Jokes More Sneeze Jokes

Who's there ! Bless ! Bless who ?

I didn't sneeze !

How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?

A: She sneezes.

500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?

Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets