What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch?

Bernie Sanders exists.

What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?

A virus does something.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do we know Paul Walker had dandruff?

We found his Heads & Shoulders in the glove box.

How many Vietnam vets does it take the screw in a light bulb?

THAT'S RIGHT!!! YOU DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days