What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds?

Brexit

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job?

Oh well that's just uber, isn't it

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's a dentist's favorite time of day?

Tooth-hurty I'll show myself out

How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day?

Like what if you find a penny

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

Why did the TSA hire a dentist?

to help with the cavity searches

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What's a dog's least favorite unit of measurement?

Pounds

How do dog catchers get paid?

By the Pound!

Brexit Jokes More Brexit Jokes

What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?

When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.