What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds?

Brexit

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the Mtis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call the day before a trip to an otolaryngologist?

New Ears Eve

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

February... because it has the least number of days

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why do blondes always die before help arrives?

A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

Brexit Jokes More Brexit Jokes

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

Why is the new Brexit diet so popular?

All you gotta be is a little more than halfway into it and the pounds will start falling.