How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What happened when the owl lost his voice ?

He didn't give a hoot !

How do you lose 30 pounds in 1 Minute?

Go to England and buy something

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What does FUN stand for?

Some nights, I don't know.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection?

I can maintain polite conversation.

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How does a cat tell time??

In meowers

What is something that basically stops when you stare at it, but flys by when you dont?

There are two answere: Time and Boo (from Mario games). Just made this joke up what do you guys think

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways?

He died on the cross!

What is WILL.I.AM going to be called after he dies?

WILL.I.WAS

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

How do you make German potato pancakes?

Cook them in the microwave

Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call the teacher who lost her baby?

Miss Carriage

How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life ?

Tell him a joke when he's a baby !

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

Why did the emo chicken go across the road?

He was afraid to go down the tracks.

Why are modern women more likely to pursue a STEM degree?

They need to learn scientific notation to keep track of their n-count.