What's the only thing that could have saved George Michael?

A whambulance

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Why does the Catholic Church have so much money?

Because Jesus saves.

What can save a dying blonde?

A: Hair transplants.

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Why do we hit things when they don't work?

Because it worked with slavery

What's the first thing Aaron Hernandez learned in prison?

He's not a tight end anymore )

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What's the difference between George Michael and Carrie Fisher?

Two days.

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.