What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Where are things that are very average produced?

The satis-factory.

What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory?

Two test tickles

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know that you are a redditor?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?

Her food is potion-controlled.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's a magazine?

asked every guy under 30.

What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why don't you play with your friends?

he asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on the new Top Gear?

It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

What do Abraham Lincoln and Ryan Fitzpatrick have in common?

Neither of them can finish a play

Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail?

Because he was in-a-cent!