What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."

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Why did Tigger look down the toilet?

To find Pooh!

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing."

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What did the dejected man say to the considerate calculator trying to console him?

It's the bot that counts.

What do women and pine trees have in common?

Every time you try to get on one, they ruin it by getting sappy.

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Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.