Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist?

A Catholic will say hello when he sees you in the liquor store.

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team?

The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts.

S Jokes More S Jokes

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!

Whats the age of consent in Thailand?

50$

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What do history teachers make when they want to get together?

Dates!

What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date?

Shore.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"