How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch?

The screen stays black when you check the time.

How do you know when a woman is pregnant?

She switches from Ragu to Prego.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happens when you put the energizer bunny's battery's in backwards?

He keeps coming and coming and coming.

What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

An artist. My 11 year son just came up with this one.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

What is a depressed German with Celiac disease unlikely to have tomorrow?

A Gluten Morgan

How to make an idiot curious?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel! ..... I am so sorry

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.