When someone ask me... How are you?

I answer back... You mean in bed

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

What do Australians say when they go to bed?

G'night mate

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What's the major cause of divorce?

Answer: Once is not enough.

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the choir teacher say to the student who asked to use the bathroom?

Of chorus.

What did the hippie say when asked to leave the party?

Namaste.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What qualifies as a "short stack" of pancakes?

I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right Yes Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack.

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*