When someone ask me... How are you?

I answer back... You mean in bed

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

When someone ask me... How are you?

I answer back... You mean in bed

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Why can't I get it up?

Okay, sometimes alcohol is the answer.

How, would you answer this question?

No. -How

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How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno, ask the Kids.

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How can I trust you again?

H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!

What is "attempted theft" exactly?

I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for "attempted plagiarism"