Who the hell buys furniture online?

Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay

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Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.

What does the hippie bum say when you tell him he can no longer sleep on your couch?

Namaste

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

How many kittens can you stuff into a microwave for 15 minutes on defrost...?

SEVEN.

Why does my computer always ask me if I'm "sure" about stuff?

Yes, I want to delete my hard drive.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.

Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe?

More doors.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?

A baby with slashed floaties. What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby.

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

How the hell did Caitlyn Jenner win women of the year?

She hasnt even been a women for a year yet.

What would you folks like?

HER: I'll have the s- ME: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY !

Chair Jokes More Chair Jokes

How many blondes does it take to... How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

5... 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the chair

How many blonde's does it take to screw In a light bulb?

3: One holds the light bulb, and the other two spin the Chair.

Furniture Jokes More Furniture Jokes

What's a Scientologist's favourite piece of furniture in Rivendell?

Elrond's cupboard.

Why do hurricanes have women name?

Because they take away your house, your car, your furniture and everything you have.