Why am I not asleep?

he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How the hell should I know?

Let me talk to a few criminals and see who they think is scariest."

What do you guys think of message boards?

I'm all forum.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you get when you cross a fish with no eyes?

PETA

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What's the difference between 'Oh' and 'Oooh'?

About three inches

What is white and twelve inches long?

Nothing

Shine Jokes More Shine Jokes

Why am I not asleep?

he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

Beam Jokes More Beam Jokes

What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him?

Get bent!

What do you want?

The beam replies: "Oh, just give me a moment."