Why can't you trust snakes ?

They speak with forked tongues !

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What do you see as your biggest weakness?

ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself

What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French?

A francophony

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't you trust girls?

because you can't trust something that bleeds for days and doesn't die.

Why can't you trust a Lithium Ion battery?

Because they're always Li-ion!

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

What do snakes have on their bath towels ?

Hiss and Hers !

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners?

Use the forks Luke.