Why did ISIS stop looting viagra?

The goats all died.

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How do you stop a mexican tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.

Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games?

They didn't have enough pitchers.

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What do "fake news" and isis have in common?

They're blowing up everyone's newsfeed

What makes an ISIS joke funny?

The execution.

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Who circles a dying gost in the desert?

ghost buzzards

Why do black people always die first in scary movies?

Because they never run from nothin but the police

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How do Muslims do foreplay?

They tickle the goat on the chin.

What happens when you inject human DNA into a goat?

You get kicked out of the petting zoo.

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Loot Jokes More Loot Jokes

Why did the monkey cross the road?

To loot the pharmacy on the other side

Why did the Ferguson protesters not participate in Black Friday?

Because they have already looted everything they would have bought anyway.