Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the pig quit running the the marathon?

He had a problem with his hamstring.

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Boo Jokes More Boo Jokes

What does a ghost drink?

Boo's.

What's a young birds favourite game?

BEAK A BOO!

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

Why ?

She : For starters I can't handle your silly jokes. He : Hmm okay and for main course

Why don't SJW's like guns?

They can't handle the trigger!

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

What do you call an alcoholic with Parkinson's?

Shakespeare (say it out loud)

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."