Why did the nun call the Womens helpline?

because she was touched by Jesus.

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Nun Jokes More Nun Jokes

What's black and white with red all over it?

A nun with multiple stab wounds.

Why did the nun swear when she got her new outfit?

It was a bad habit.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What was the first reference to pole vaulting in the Bible?

When Jesus cleared the temple.

Why does Jesus like Japanese food?

Because he loves miso

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

What do Michael Jackson and Jimmy Savile have in common?

they touched some many lives