Why did the Scotsman sell drugs?

He had to get plaid.

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Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Why shouldn't you give Muslim Women drugs?

They'll get stoned. (Ba-dum tss)

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.?

Because his mixtape was to die for...

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!" The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger says, "Hey you, get offa' my cloud." A Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get offa' my ewe."