Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do most people do when they see a python ?

They re-coil !

How is Michael Jackson like the thousands of people outside times square on new years?

Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. 1 to screw it in and 2 to talk about how much better Neil Peart could've done it

What do you call a nut that can't talk?

Nutin special. Credit to my 8 year old daughter who made that one up.

Absolute Jokes More Absolute Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes