Absolute Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

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What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did the USAS with frag rounds fall over?

Because it was... imbalanced.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

Kelvin Jokes More Kelvin Jokes

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin?

When around both, one eventually stops moving. Forgive me.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.

What do you call a pack of sorority girls who aren't in law school?

Deez hoes ain't lawyers.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?

They were very impressed!

How does it feel?

Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow "What"

Freeze Jokes More Freeze Jokes

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She puts in in the microwave.

What does a cow say in the winter?

I'm udderly freezing!

0 K Jokes More 0 K Jokes

Why did Fetty Wap chose that as his stage name?

Because he wanted to make $50K per day from ad revenue.

How do you feel if subjected to temperatures of absolute zero?

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

How did Godzilla get the job opportunity?

Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall.

What do you suppose broke this window Mr. Holmes?

It's a limb entry, my dear Watson!

Subject Jokes More Subject Jokes

What subject did the Warlock major in at University?

Fel-osophy

Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects?

Because she was too ahoof.