Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Apparently not 8

How many Jihadists does it take to change a light bulb?

Allah them. (I googled several varations and thus far I believe I am the originator)

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Who's there ! B-2 ! B-2 who ?

B-2 school on time !

Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?

So time would fly.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What fish only swims at night ?

A starfish !

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

Traffic Light Jokes More Traffic Light Jokes

Why couldn't the traffic light get a date?

She was wearing no turn on red. :

What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?

Don't look I'm changing!