Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Who are you and how do you get the time and money?

Teach me.

Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences?

Time served

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

Why did the marble countertop leave the kitchen?

It was tired of being taken for granite.

What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint?

I'm always taken for granite!