Why does a montonegran man keep a chair next to his bed?

So he can have a rest after he gets tired from waking up.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do astronauts wear to bed?

Space Jammies!

What is a long distance love?

It's when you're in the office, bed is at home and whiskey is in the bar.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did the pumpkin say after waking up his family?

Awaken, my pump- "

Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?

Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Why was the baby put in jail?

For resisting a rest. I'll take my coat

Chair Jokes More Chair Jokes

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security?

It was armed.

What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?

A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.