Why doesn't God like fruitcake?

Because he doesn't exist.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How would you like that cooked?

gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously

Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who ?

Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why is God depressed?

Imagine...*You* Being God, the Lord, Him... But imagine us.

Who was Michael Jackson?

Son: Dad, is God man or a woman? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God black or white? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God good or bad? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God - Michael Jackson?

Exist Jokes More Exist Jokes

What does Pluto have up on Palestine?

At least Pluto exists

How do you tell a hypocrite from a normal person?

The hypocrite's the one that exists.

Fruitcake Jokes More Fruitcake Jokes

Why isn't John Oliver having sultanas in his fruitcake?

Because it's the currant year.

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!