What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How many women does it take to park a car?

A man.

What was the car doing in the dressing room?

Changing attire.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What material does Cayde-6 use to repair his armor after falling feet first into hell?

Nathan Filaments ( ) X-Post from /r/DestinyTheGame

Why do virgins never stand still?

They are used to being chaste.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's wrongdad?

Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.

When a guy yells out, "Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?

She yelled back, "Because I swallowed them all!"

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call someone with lots of imaginary friends?

Schizofriendic

What US state has a lot of dirty laundry?

Washington

Fuel Jokes More Fuel Jokes

What to Australian Trains use as fuel?

Coal-Ala

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What do you have there?

Me: struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down Ham.

What weighs 35 tons has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old?

Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.