Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

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Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What does a widow say when she wakes up?

Mourning

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning?

She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What kind of degree do you inherit through marriage?

A degree in law.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.