What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did the Egyptian spit out his water?

Because it came from the Suez.

How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak?

You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?

He wanted to see stars during the day.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How long is the movie?

I need to know what time to pick her up.

Whats a dentists favorite time of day?

The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

What do you give the guy who has everything?

Penicillin

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How do you wake up Lady Gaga..?

POKER FACE ... BAHAHAHA!!!

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Jerk Jokes More Jerk Jokes

What do you call that mean guy who keeps waking you up?

A myoclonic jerk.

What do you do, if you're jerking off when you're meant to do something else but you're putting it off?

Procrasturbation.

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock?

You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet...

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.