Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you keep a group of women from talking?

Ask the oldest one to speak first.

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is your best lawyer joke?

I need some new material for the court house.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What do you call money that grows on trees?

Marijuana

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

Why do Hutterites children pretend to be pirates?

Because they ARRRRRRR retarded