Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

What came in the mail today?

Anthrax.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

How to make an idiot curious?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

What did you learn in school today?

Not enough I have to go back tomorrow!

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What do you call a line of men waiting to get a hair cut?

A barbecue

Why was the Redditor mad at Reddit?

Because it made her wait seven minutes before posting something.