13th Jokes

What do they call the 13th floor in England?

The 12th floor.

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What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

It died.

How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the Samsung Note 7 was launched?

It was an explosive success

What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser?

They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day?

A hug and a little quiche.

How do you kiss a girl on valentines day?

You use tulips.

Ayatollah Jokes More Ayatollah Jokes

Who's there ! Ayatollah ! Ayatollah who ?

Ayatollah you already !

How many Ayatollahs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

12th Jokes More 12th Jokes

What do they call the 13th floor in England?

The 12th floor.

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common?

They're both summary!

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What is the best time to watch Predator?

Anytiiiiiiiiiime

What's the best part about getting head from an infant?

Watching the soft spot move.

Nevermind Jokes More Nevermind Jokes

What's the most annoying thing someone can say?

Nevermind.

What's that one place in Thailand called?

Ahh Phuket. Nevermind.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway.

How many Alzheimer victims does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side