13th Jokes

What do they call the 13th floor in England?

The 12th floor.

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What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

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England Jokes More England Jokes

What's Christmas called in England ?

Yule Britannia !

What's the difference between a tea bag and England?

A tea bag stays longer in a cup.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

How does an idiot call for his dog?

He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.

Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?

Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

Why did the bolt in the ceiling have to go to therapy?

Because it was screwed up!

How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?

A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if a line doesn't get enough Vitamin C?

It gets curvy.

What happens to criminal photons?

They get put in prism!

12th Jokes More 12th Jokes

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common?

They're both summary!

How do you make the 12th man Happy?

FIRE BEVELL

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What are you typing?

Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!" -Google.

What broke?

opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! parenting from the bathroom

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?

How many did it take last year

How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb?

2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.

Lover Jokes More Lover Jokes

What did the potato say to his lover?

You have amazing eyes.

What is the magic word?

son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case