Ryan Lochte Jokes

What would people call Ryan Lochte if he went to jail?

Ryan Locht-up

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What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

When the bartender asks you what's in a Ryan Lochte?

Just say "I don't know, make something up"

What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal?

GoldiLochtes

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you get if you cross goat DNA with human DNA?

I don't know, ask the Arabs!

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

Why the long face ?

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face ? Horse: because I'm a raging alcoholic.

How do you encourage a bartender?

That's the spirit!" How do you discourage a bartender Boos.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

What is the difference between an abusive relationship and The Chainsmokers ?

Nothing, The hits keep coming

Stroke Jokes More Stroke Jokes

What do you call an inspiring jerk session?

A stroke of genius!

What does rock music and my grandpa have in common?

The Strokes

Star Jokes More Star Jokes

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do they tell people who flunk out of astronaut academy?

The sky's the limit for you".

How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

What do you call sandman when he robs you?

THAT SON OF A BEACH ROBBED ME!

How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway.

Gold Medal Jokes More Gold Medal Jokes

What's better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Working legs.

What is better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

Having two legs