How can a man take an abortion pill?

He just picks one up and leaves.

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

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What the quickest way to a mans heart?

Though his chest with a knife

What the hell is going on here?

Wife turns to the man and says "Told you he was stupid."

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What is the past tense of 'think'?

So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!