How can you identify an Irish pirate?

A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.

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Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me, something smells. Credit: Christmas cracker.

How do you make a blondes eyes shine bright?

Shine a torch in her ear!

Identify Jokes More Identify Jokes

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

How do you identify the head waitress at a restaurant?

She's the one wearing knee pads.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What do you call a half Irish half Muslim husband?

O'Pressive.

What do you call an Irish phone technician who's always calling in sick?

Crock o'Dial.

Patch Jokes More Patch Jokes

Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown?

Because he had no depth perception.

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!