Identify Jokes

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you call a bus that identifies with no gender?

A transit

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

What do you call a white woman that identifies as black?

TransRachel - credit Jennie

Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask?

You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.

How can you identify a French Infantryman?

Sunburned armpits.

What do I want to do to your body?

I don't know. Identify it, I guess.

Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?

They're always switching their tails!

How can you identify an Irish pirate?

A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.

How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How do you identify a baboon?

Easy, they stick out like a sore bum!

What do you mean I can't identify as a television?

Just watch me!

How do you identify a vegan?

Listen closely.

Which character do you most identify with?

Ross 8. Which is your least favorite character Ross

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

How do you search and identify for feminist jokes in /r/jokes?

They have a "JOKE" disclaimer tag

How do you identify the head waitress at a restaurant?

She's the one wearing knee pads.

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Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

How do you describe Catwoman in one word?

Purrfect

How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums?

Algorithm.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor?

The doctor said it was all in her head

Why did the lady stare at the orange juice?

Because she thought it was telling her to concentrate!

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

How many men does it take to make popcorn?

Four one to hold the pot and three to act macho and shake the stove.

What did the black kid get on his ACT?

BBQ sauce

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

What did Earth say to the Sun?

My life revolves around you!

Patch Jokes More Patch Jokes

Why did the detective wear a patch on his left eye?

It's his private eye.

Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown?

Because he had no depth perception.

Stoat Jokes More Stoat Jokes

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different

Task Jokes More Task Jokes

What do you call a task that isn't quite mundane?

Tuesdane

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

French Jokes More French Jokes

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.