How do you sort out Ant and Dec?

Squash one and deal with the other later.

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Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

Why don't ants get sick?

Because of their tiny little anty bodies

How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only two, but you've got to wonder how they climbed up there!

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

What did the sorting hat say to the quadriplegic?

Stay here, I'll just go on ahead.

What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you?

Camembert

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

Why do buddhist make bad vacuum salesman?

They can't deal with attachments.

What do banks and the US government have in common?

They both deal with checks and balances.

Dec Jokes More Dec Jokes

Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

Squash Jokes More Squash Jokes

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What do you get if you squash a house?

A flat.