How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

Where does it stop?

8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

What goes above the water and below the water but doesn't touch the water?

An egg in a duck.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do you call shooting yourself in the face with jiz?

Homo-cide

What did Plaxico Burress say when he read Colin Kaepernick's Tweets?

Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

Why don't Amish people water ski?

Because their horses would drown.

What do you call the man with a lisp who drowned?

A philosopher. Cuz he's a deep thinker.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off?

I'll get you next slime!

Why did the baby cross the road?

It didn't hit the car's windshield.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How does a lawyer name their kids?

Bill and Sue

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?

Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.