How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Who's there ! Billy Bragg ! Billy Bragg who ?

Billy Braggs too much tell him to stop it !

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you call water that hasn't been changed?

Still, water.

Why do honest ducks dip their heads under the water?

To liquidate their bills.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What goes clop clop clop - BANG! BANG! BANG! - clop clop clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting

Why does the zoo only have dogs?

Because they shot the gorilla

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What does it look like when someone is drowning?

lol

What do you call five Mexicans drowning at the bottom of their pool?

Cinco.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream?

A: He was hit by a bus

Why did the masochist STOP hitting himself on the head with a hammer ?

Because it hurt.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.