How do you turn lead into gold?

Start a war.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What starts with 'D' and has two letters in it?

w

What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld?

Did you ever notice he seems to start off all of his jokes in one of two ways

War Jokes More War Jokes

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

How do the French Train for War?

The 100 Meter Sprint

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’

I couldn’t turn it down.

What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal?

Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side.

Gold Jokes More Gold Jokes

How can you tell the Ethiopian diplomat at a political function?

He's the one with the gold Rolex around his neck.

What's better than getting gold in the Special Olympics ?

Being normal.

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

Why did Gateway computers go out of business?

Because they led to stronger and addictive computers.

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow