How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How did the barber win the race?

He knew a short cut.

How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and the painting of the Last Supper?

You only need one nail to hang the painting.

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What Do You Call an Ethiopian with A Piece of Lettuce on His Head?

A Quarter Pounder.

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.