Lettuce Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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How do you make a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone without dressing.

Why couldn't the salad bowl play Scrabble?

It had run out of lettuce

How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

What's in a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing ...

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What do you call a Mexican crossed with an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can pick lettuce.

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray."

What do you get when you give a head of lettuce to an epileptic?

A seizure salad.

Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?

Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*

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Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

Because it's all heart.

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

for disturbing the peas!

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

What did the vegetables say at the garden party?

Lettuce turnip the beet

What is the most common disease for lettuce?

Icebergers

What vegetable has Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Lettuce alone!*

What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

What do you call an epileptic covered in lettuce?

A seizure salad.

Why is lettuce my favorite vegetable?

Just cos.

What Do You Call an Ethiopian with A Piece of Lettuce on His Head?

A Quarter Pounder.

What is a Honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone.

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.

What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?

Dracowla!

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

Why did the skeleton burp in the church ?

He didn't have the guts to fart

What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it.

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel?

Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!

Seizure Salad Jokes More Seizure Salad Jokes

What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

A seizure salad!

What is an epileptics favourite food?

Seizure Salad

Hen Jokes More Hen Jokes

What is the difference between a blonde and a hen?

The blonde doesn't sit still when she is on eggs.

How do hens always know what size your egg cup is?

They don't but all eggs always fit.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

How do you turn fruits into vegetables?

Drive a bus through a pride parade

What vegetable likes to party?

A turn-up

Epileptic Jokes More Epileptic Jokes

What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden?

Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'

Where do epileptics get pizza?

Little Seizures.